Foreword:

First and foremost, we understand the uphill battle the custodial staff faces. The Hays HS Staff Directory lists only 16 custodians, yet this school has over 34 bathrooms and nearly 3,000 students. Any mess in a bathroom is a direct result of student carelessness, not custodial neglect. Working long hours for the betterment of our school, the custodial staff deserves all the respect in the world. Please, do your part to keep the bathrooms clean, and thank a custodian the next time you see them.

-Stacy Halliday & Hunter Fandrick

THE BATHROOM REVIEW

2 seniors.

8 collective years of Hays bathroom experience.

34 Bathrooms.

92+ stalls.

One dream.

We set out with a goal of presenting our student body with a useable piece of information about the commodities surrounding them. You, the reader, deserve an acceptable latrine escape. You deserve to know what you’re getting into before you enter a powder room. With limited opportunities to escape the monotony of classroom work, only the best will do. Please, dear reader, use this article to your advantage. Take heed, and make an informed decision before you ask for that bright pink pass. We, Hunter Fandrick and Stacy Halliday, present…The Bathroom Review.

MEN’S BATHROOMS

Downstairs C-Building ★★

A very wet bathroom. The floor is wet, the counter is wet, the seats are wet. A persistent malodor is present in this restroom. One urinal, upon visitation, was in a constant state of flush. There is no door. This bathroom is, at best, rough.

• Cleanliness: ⅖ Water on floor, wet counter, toilet roll in sink.
• Locks: ⅔ locks worked.
• Stall Gaps: The gaps between the stall door and the stall wall are reasonable on handicap, but are too large on the middle stall, and the first stall doesn’t close at all.
• Misc. Problems: There are no mirrors in front of sinks, which is reminiscent of what I presume low-security prisons look like. No paper towel dispensers (3/3 hand dryers are operational (“operational” is a kind term. They blow, but certainly not with force.)), all urinals were unflushed.
• Shining feature: A full-body mirror, which is nice for checking yourself out in between classes.

Upstairs C-Building ★★★★

This bathroom, which was notably more busy than the downstairs bathroom (during the time spent in there while reviewing), is fine. It’ll do in a pinch, but I personally would avoid, unless the handicap stall is available. This stall is the best in the C-Building, for men.

• Cleanliness: ⅘ No toilet paper on floor, dry floors, dry seats.
• Locks: ⅕ Operational (Handicap stall) Two locks were completely absent
• Stall Gaps: ⅘ Reasonable, Handicap stall was occupied, but stall gap was of “unreasonable” size
• Misc. Problems: Ceilings felt low, and a distinct lack of sink mirrors again. One seat was stained yellow, hopefully due to age rather than consistent urine permeation.
• Shining feature: An abundance of urinals, bright lights, and a door to bathroom.

Outside of Cafeteria ★★★★★

This is, without a doubt, the best bathroom in the A-Building. It is almost always worth the walk if you’ve got the time, especially in the lower 100s. Note that these are locked at some points throughout the day.

• Cleanliness: ⅘
• Locks: 5/5
• Stall Gaps: All of them are reasonable  
• Misc. Problems: No trash can, which is unfortunate. Trash cans should be standard in all bathrooms, whether or not there are paper towel dispensers.
• Shining feature: Two counters, large mirrors facing each other, and plenty of stalls. I highly recommend this bathroom.

Downstairs Low 100s ★★

This bathroom is just shy of okay. It’s no Lunchroom bathroom, but it’s no C-Building downstairs either. A stained door handle leaves an immediate gross impression, an impression which is only further supported by the scent upon immediate entry.

• Cleanliness: 5/5, no trash on ground but a particularly bad smell
• Locks: ⅔ The first stall doesn’t lock, but the middle and handicap do.
• Stall Gaps: All of them are reasonable
• Misc. Problems: Door handle is finicky, leading people to think it’s locked.
• Shining feature: A trash can and sink mirrors.

Main Hall High 100s ★★★

All of the bathrooms in the A Hall are pretty much the same. However, because this bathroom is easily accessible from the main hallway, it gets especially busy in the morning.

• Cleanliness: ⅘  Dry. No paper towels on ground. Some residue in toilet bowls.
• Locks: ⅔
• Stall Gaps: All stall gaps are just a bit large.
• Misc. Problems: The soap dispenser is placed at eye height. The hand dryer is placed across from the sinks, resulting in wet hands dripping onto walkway.
• Shining feature: A trash can and sink mirrors.

Science Wing –★

If you’re in the science wing and need to use the restroom, do yourself a favor and avoid this one. Upon opening the door, a hot blast of bathroom-scented air immediately hits you. A small room with two stalls and urinal, this is the last place I would want to spend any amount of time. Perhaps in attempt to make itself shine, this bathroom features a white counter, as opposed to the typical blue, or gray sinks.

• Cleanliness: 3/5, soap-stained mirrors, toilet paper on floor, gum in sink.
• Locks: 2/2
• Stall Gaps: Both reasonable!
• Misc. Problems: This bathroom is obscenely hot. Ridiculously hot. Like, why is it so hot in here. It is so hot.
• Shining feature: This bathroom will give you a new appreciation for life, having survived this.

Upstairs High 200s ★

This bathroom is a copy of the bathroom directly below it, but dirtier.

• Cleanliness: ⅖ Almost always, one toilet is massively clogged. Wet seats are a consistent problem here.
• Locks: 0/3.
• Stall Gaps: An array; one good, one okay, one bad stall gap.
• Misc. Problems: This bathroom’s proximity to a freshmen class area has resulted in consistent miscare.
• Shining feature: A good length walk from upstairs A classes, this bathroom is good for a stretch of the legs. Not much else.

Upstairs Low 200s ★★

It is worth noting that this bathroom smells better than its downstairs twin, directly below.

• Cleanliness: 2.5/5
• Locks: 1/3
• Stall Gaps: ⅓ reasonable stall gaps
• Misc. Problems: An exceptionally splashy sink, and loud fan.
• Shining feature: On the inside of the handicap stall door is a faded pentagram. With six points.

B Wing ★★★★

If you’re upstairs in either the A or B building, this bathroom is usually worth the walk (if you don’t have time to go to the lunchroom bathrooms). It’s bright and not busy. A solid bathroom.

• Cleanliness: 4/5
• Locks: 3/3
• Stall Gaps: ⅓ reasonable stall gaps, the handicap stall gap is directly in front of the toilet.
• Misc. Problems: An anonymous guest was quoted as saying “It always smells wack.”
• Shining feature: Powerful hand dryers! These will actually dry your hands.

Women’s Bathrooms

Downstairs C building ★

This bathroom is by far the least attractive in our school. Every single toilet is covered in yellow stains, making it unclear which ones are “clean” or not.

• Cleanliness: ⅖, it always smells. Always.
• Working locks: ⅞, there’s one door that doesn’t even reach the wall and therefore cannot be closed.
• Stall gaps: These stall gaps are unreasonably large! I do not want to see in the stall from out, or see out the stall from in.
• Misc. problems: The strength of the flush is not strong enough to dispose of the toilet paper, so guests are typically disgusted by the balls of used toilet paper sitting in the bowl. Also, there’s no door when you enter, so any passers-by can see whoever is using the mirror.
• Shining feature: This bathroom has a full body mirror.

Upstairs C building ★★

This bathroom is exactly like the one downstairs, except with almost no yellow stains on the toilets.

• Cleanliness: ⅗
• Working Locks: 6/11
• Stall Gaps: All are reasonable.
• Misc. problems: No mirror above sink, forcing girls to awkwardly stand at the hand dryer way too long as if they weren’t waiting for the girl in front of the full body mirror to move.
• Shining feature: Full body mirror and a thermostat.

Outside of Cafeteria ★★★★★

This bathroom is by far the best of the best at this school. With a slightly normal smell and plenty of stalls so you’re never stuck choosing between four clogged toilets, I would make the trip no matter where I was in the A building for this one.

• Cleanliness: ⅘
• Working locks: 8/8 working locks
• Stall gaps: Very reasonable
• Misc. problems: The motion sensor light doesn’t work until you’ve walked a significant amount into the bathroom
• Shining feature: Two huge mirrors, two rows of three sinks, and a significant amount of space to walk around without being cramped by other girls getting ready before first period

Downstairs Low 100’s ★

This bathroom is never a pleasant experience. It’s always occupied, the sink area is very small and cramped, and there’s only one hand dryer.

• Cleanliness: ⅗
• Working locks: 6/6 working locks
• Stall gaps: Reasonable enough
• Misc Problems: The last two stall gaps

Main Hall High 100’s ★★★

A very run-of-the-mill bathroom, this will work fine for most occasions.

• Cleanliness: ⅗
• Working locks: 6/6
• Stall gaps: Reasonable
• Misc. Problems: Always busy, only one hand dryer, can’t tell when last two stalls are occupied, cramped sink area
  Shining Feature: n/a

Science Wing ★

If I’ve learned anything from my four years of having to use this one, it’s that more people use this bathroom to hide from class than to actually use the bathroom.

• Cleanliness: ⅕
• Working locks: 2/4, other two are squeaky and hard to use
• Stall gaps: unreasonable
• Misc. problems: Very weak hand dryer, only two sinks and two small mirrors
• Shining Feature: literally nothing

Upstairs A- High 200’s ★★★

An exact replica of the bathroom directly beneath it.

• Cleanliness: ⅗
• Working locks: 6/6
• Stall gaps: unreasonable
• Misc. problems: The air conditioner is really loud, dark entryway, always has trash in the sink
• Shining Feature: Nothing at all

Upstairs A- Lower 200’s ★★★

To be honest, I didn’t know this bathroom existed until my junior year, never having had a class in the area.

• Cleanliness: 2/4
• Working locks: 6/6
• Stall gaps: Reasonable
• Misc. Problems: Always smells horrible
• Shining Feature: Braille on the outside, something I haven’t seen in any other bathroom in the school

B Wing ★★★★

A generally quiet and clean atmosphere, this bathroom is worth the extra walk if you can’t make it downstairs to the bathroom outside the cafeteria.

• Cleanliness: ⅘
• Working locks: 5/5
• Stall gaps: Unreasonable
• Misc. Problems: Broken toilet seat?
• Shining Feature: Lots of sink and mirror space

Honorable Mentions:

The Theater Indoor Bathroom

Both a blessing and a curse, these bathrooms has only one room for the respective women and men bathroom. Though quiet time is quiet here, the pressure is on when any other person is in line.

Cheer Locker Room Bathroom

We were not invited here; a unicorn passing in the night, untouchable to the majority of students.

Theater Outdoor Bathrooms

When these are unlocked, use them! Check them the day after events in the theater, or on the field. Generally unused, they’re quiet and generally clean-ish.

Not Reviewed

• D-Building Restrooms: Not used by the large majority of the school. Let the athletes fend for themselves.
• Bathrooms in the cafeteria: The cafeteria is a warzone, and one I am not willing to travel through, even for the sake of journalism.
• Bleacher Bathrooms: Often inaccessible, and greatly varying conditions depending on the most recent sporting event.
• Locker-room bathrooms: Inaccessible to majority of students.

Conclusion:

If the outside-the-lunchroom bathroom isn’t open, use the B-Wing bathrooms. Otherwise, a bathroom is a bathroom. Steer clear of the science wing restrooms at all costs. Furthermore, pick up after yourself, and show the custodians the appreciation they deserve.

Sincerely,

Hunter & Stacy