I feel like us as a student body, we can all collectively agree that mega lunch is terrible. It is very flawed and very dumb. Ask anyone in this school and I can almost 100 percent  guarantee they will say something along the lines of: “Mega lunch is awful!” Just with 70 times more slurs and curse words. Despite the title, I agree with the side against mega lunch. It makes (most) clubs irrelevant, wastes time with the mandatory tutoring, etc. but I think the worse part is that they close off the cafeteria, which in turns makes the cafeteria just as dangerous as ever. As you may know, I don’t think Hays is too safe (especially in the year 2019, where more and more violence is happening all around, not just schools but America as a whole). Having it more open makes it easier to escape. But this is a topic for another day.

Today I will be playing devil’s advocate for Mega Lunch. Why? I don’t know. From this point on it will be nothing but pro mega lunch propaganda. Which is mostly satirical. You have been warned.

Mega lunch is great because it allows you to spend (in school) time for tutoring and clubs. Most students don’t get here extremely early like Aunt Carol is at happy hour. And most students have a lot to do after school like athletics, work, and even homework. Flex clubs was amazing but it is impossible to realize with the mega lunch bell schedule in place. This is the best way to do clubs at Hays. A nice thirty minutes and then thirty minutes of lunch. Or an hour of clubs. Or just an hour of lunch. It’s a time for you.

Another amazing part of mega lunch is that it’s just one lunch. Everyone is here, and this isn’t Smash Ultimate. You can see friends you don’t see all day. That’s if you have friends, if you don’t, well thank goodness for the internet. You can always do homework or binge youtube videos about commenting on other youtube videos. There is a lot of power in that little brick you call a phone.

In conclusion, mega lunch is mega good. It lets you see your mega friends and do your mega work. Or just take a mega dump, I don’t know. No mega judgment here. Mega lunch is so mega. You can even go to your mega clubs, mega tutorials, and even mega detention. It’s so mega that the mega-ness of it is overwhelming. But that’s just the mega way. Anyways this is the mega end. Just keep mega living, you are mega worth it, and support mega lunch.